Photo reblogged from affluent serbian kid with 837 notes
dvz:
Citi Bank passed a copy of this handout to everyone in their HR department. This is few key “tips” for women to keep in mind to be taken seriously and succeed at work. The writers at Jezebel came up with their own supplemental “tips” to success for women:
1. Women tend to have two X chromosomes — you are not heard.
2. Women menstruate in public — emphasizes your femininity and deemphasizes your capability.
3. Women sit vaginally — the power position when seated at a table is to have a penis.
4. Wear panties in meetings — boxer-wearers are seen as more assertive and knowledgeable than those in lacy underthings.
5. Women have wombs — children come out of wombs. Men don’t reproduce, they conquer.
6. Ovulate — women ovulate at the smallest provocation which erodes your self-confidence. Men tend to move into sperm producing mode.
7. Women tend to smile inappropriately — an “inappropriate” smile is a smile that is on a woman’s face.
8. Observe “Rules” — rules are made to be broken by men. When women break them, it is a violation of workplace culture. When women follow them, it is self-sabotage. To be safe, avoid being a woman whenever possible.
9. Being invisible — 90% of adult humans are unable to visually perceive women. Solution: wear a bear suit.
10. Offer a female handshake — the best way to combat this is to have a man’s hand transplanted onto your wrist. Or purchase a giant foam hand at a sports stadium. These are very masculine and you are sure to be taken extremely seriously while wearing one.
Read more: http://jezebel.com/5634959/citibank-hr-tells-ladies-how-to-succeed-at-work#ixzz0zciTCsfhi find myself gravitating to ~feminists on tumblr beacause they care about anything other than secondary wealth characteristicsbut overall good advice in a not so pc wrapper. jeez
women need to ACT LIKE MEN to succeed in business
this wrongheaded idea is the reason for shoulderpads in sweater and so much awful hair
it also reveals that the natural state of a corporation is a cruel warlike thing that suits sad men raised in martial culture
end capitalism immediately
11. WOMEN HAVE NO PLACE IN THE WORKPLACE BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL BLEEDING HEART PUSSIES, SO SAYS OUR OCTOGENARIAN CEO.
i like also how women are told to aspire to idealized notions of femininity at the exact same time
Source: lovemelovely
“women tend to be more naive.” what the actual fuck
The fact that this is directed towards women is a little over the line, but really it is good advice overall to anyone....
“but what do I know, I of course can’t write my name in the snow with my dick and this is now some sort of qualification...
I really have mixed emotions about this piece. When I first read the heading, I thought “Oh okay, this could be...
The very fact that they even handed...out is insulting. Then to address what is on the...
this is interesting… I don’t think it actually sabotages our careers, but they’ve definitely made a few good points. for...
I only do half of those things…
i cant even tell if its telling you not to do these things or to do them. either fucking way, this is disgusting. fuck...
“…therefore you are not get taken seriously.”
Today’s dose of sexism. Towards GIRL POWER it is!
Corporate Coaching International. And no,...wasn’t published 30 years ago. The publication...
the HR department...Citi Financial… So I guess, according
Mah head, it just hit the desk. HARD. OW.